How do you break free, without breaking apart?
I woke up today, still thinking about you. How much I love you. Is it my fault to keep on dreaming of something I know I will never have? When all I want is to wake up beside you and tell you how much I love you first thing in the morning. To daydream how I see my future with you, 30 or 50 years from now. To spend nights still looking for the perfect song for us. I don’t know how not to think about you anymore. Cupid did hit me big time. Our G- day was the happiest and the saddest day ever. We’ve been together for 8 hours. The feeling when I hug you while you’re driving was so great. The way you held my hand, and don’t want to let go. Hay. It was a dream come true to share an umbrella with you and walk with you under the rain. But it’s so painful to think that it may never happen again. You’re the only person I know, who wished for traffic, just to stay with me longer. I’m not going to forget how you asked the lady at the tollgate how they reach their workplace everyday. That stupid question. lol. You asked that question to make me happy. You even used your black car, so that I get to watch the wedding where you saw me. Where you first discovered that Love at first sight did exist. You’re so cute babe. Especially when you get jealous. And when I end up comforting you after. Then you’ll say, “Fine..I’m so easy.” hay. You never fail to surprise me. I’m loving it. After I rant about your surprises, I still end up loving them anyway. And thank you. You made me happy babe, not for the things that you can give me, but for the thought that you’re going to do everything just to see me happy. You told me, seeing how my eyebrows raise, how I press my thin lips together, how I smile when I look at you. You said it’s priceless. I’m going to miss the daydreams we used to have. How our weekends would be like. Our road trip plans with friends. Our trip to Bali. Barcelona. Venice. Our dream house. Every detail about it I know I won’t forget. =(
I love you babe. But every time I say these 3-word, 8-letter term it feels like stabbing myself with a knife. Grasping for air because I find it difficult to breathe. The next thing I knew, hot tears starts to roll down my cheeks. And after feeling the pain made by the deepest scar, I’ve never imagined I could take, I still find myself back where I started. I still wish for you in my life. I still yearn for you to need me back. I still crave for you to say that you love me than anything else.
Pero ang sakit na..ang sakit sakit na.
Sabi ko, “I’m letting you go.”
Sabi mo, “Your letting me go?”
Oo na. Tatanggapin ko na. Na hindi ako. Pero di ako sumusuko.
I’ll still pray for the day, that you will hurry back to me.
